When the going gets tough: letting go of perfect

I've decided that when making a commitment to better health, fitness, eating...the hard part isn't starting. God knows in the past few years I've "started" many, many times. The hard part comes when you hit a bump in the road, when you lose some of your motivation, when you're busy, when life gets chaotic. That's when it gets hard because it tests whether you're going to keep on going, or give up.

I feel like since late summer, early fall--I've been in the hard part. I've been trying to figure out where this time for myself--exercising, planning my meals (that are oftentimes different from my family's meals), getting to the gym--fits in to a suddenly overwhelming family schedule. 

One of the first things to throw me off the rails is chaos and lack of a smooth, low-key schedule. (*cue maniacal laughter*). That's pretty much my whole life right now. And I've discovered something about myself along the way--I struggle when I'm not doing this whole journey perfectly. 

And while that might sound like a wonderful thing, it can be really defeating when you mess up. There were days this summer where I wouldn't 'stick to the plan' and so instead of going to the gym or checking in the with nutritionists who are helping me on this journey, I'd say to myself, "I can't go in there until I'm back on track. Until everything is perfect again." Turns out if you wait for 'perfect', it's not going to happen. 

So I had to adopt a better attitude. Not sticking to it for a meal or a day or a moment, doesn't screw up everything. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater, for pete's sake. 

The good news is, I'm back at it. I'm back on track and feeling good. (Could this possibly be why I'm writing about it again? I may be guilty.) The other good news is that even during this "bump", I still never lost sight of the big goal. I knew what I was going through was a temporary re-adjustment but I still felt extremely committed to the long-term. And I still know this time it's gonna work. I don't want to lose what I've lost and worked so hard for. Apparently, I just had to climb this hill first.

As always, thanks to so many of you who have emailed, commented and lamented, and who have said, you're in the trenches, too. Whatever the goal, I hope we all can help push and encourage each other along the way. 

More soon...xo.

More than just clean teeth

My girls and I were asked by our friends from Social Stars to take a look at these products from LISTERINE® SMARTRINSE. We were sent some goodies and tested out the products as part of our nightly bedtime routine. My promise to my blog readers is that I will only share sponsored posts on this blog if they are for products I would recommend to my friends, purchase myself, and have some connection to something I am learning, working on, teaching my children or care deeply about. So if I'm sharing it here, know that it's because I think it's worthy of sharing.

I went to the dentist last week and I'm ashamed to admit that I haven't been in the dentist chair in quite awhile. Long enough that I couldn't remember the last time, and had to put a big fat question mark on that part of my new patient form. It's the classic "no dental insurance, put the kids' teeth before my own teeth" scenario. Thankfully, through the power of good genetics and good brushing, my thirty-eight year streak of no cavities and no fillings has continued.  And the dentist office was quick to make sure I would be back in six months and keep up with my healthy teeth. I promised I would.

I have to admit that in my current commitment to better health, my eyes have been opened to the power that lies in taking care of all of oneself. 

In my blissful youth, I was the kid who never had to worry about her skin. But the bliss of those days is apparently over as I've hit my late thirties. And I have adopted a Skin Care Routine. As crazy as it may sound, taking care of my skin has been an eye-opening experience. Those five minutes I take at the end of the evening to pull back my hair, wash my face and put on a little magical cream feel so important. Not only the fact that it's good for my skin, it's been good for my soul as well. 

Cavities are SCARY! 

Setting aside that time, caring enough about myself to take care of myself, and take time for myself? That's so important--for health, for heart, for self-esteem, for outlook on life. I know, I know, it seems like a bit much to get from a five-minute face washing, but I am convinced that these healthful habits are important and set a pattern for healthful habits in other areas of my life. 

It's this same intention--the importance of caring for yourself--that I'm trying to teach my girls. While we're not needing to worry about blemishes and zit creams yet, we can start off on this same path by taking good care of our teeth. 

Lately, that's meant not only standing in front of the mirror brushing, but also adding more to that nighttime routine, including flossing and using mouthwash. I want my girls to know that taking care of their teeth isn't just about cavity prevention, it's also about taking care of the whole self. It's about setting aside time to establish healthy habits--something that will serve them well in all areas of their lives. 

The girls recently got a fun package in the mail full of teeth-care-taking goodies from the folks at Listerine. Now, if you live in a house of girls, you can probably guess there's a little bit of excitement over pink mouthwash, purple dental floss and cool toothbrush holders that suction cup to your mirror. 

It was the perfect way to continue to encourage the point I am trying to make--that caring for teeth is more than just clean teeth. But in the meantime, while they're swirling and spitting and I'm feeling good about them taking care of their bodies--the LISTERINE® SMARTRINSE is cleaning up the gunk their toothbrushing didn't get, strengthening their teeth and taking care of their whole mouth. Because a happy mouth is a smiley mouth. And who wouldn't want to see this crazy smile?

Want to know more about LISTERINE SMARTRINSE®? It helps prevent kids' cavities, and strengthens teeth 99% better than brushing alone. It cleans in places the toothbrush cannot reach (and c'mon we know kids aren't the best brushers), and provides up to 12 hours of cavity protection. And my girls say the pink is the best. Sorry boys. 

This too shall pass...right?

I wrote this post as part of my participation in a blog tour for The Motherhood on behalf of the makers of Children's MOTRIN and received compensation to thank me for taking the time to participate. However, all opinions expressed are my own.

On one of my visits with my mom over the summer she returned the big brown scrapbook I made for her years and years ago. By now, photos and hand-written captions and notes are slipping out, the pages dotted with water stains. It's seen better days. She handed it to me reluctantly, knowing my plate is pretty full, but hoping I might find a little time to put the big brown spiral back together. 

I have it sitting on the bookshelf behind my desk. I keep it right on top in hopes that one of these days I'll pick it up and start to glue and paste the pages back together. 

Of course the few times I have picked it up, I've found myself lost in the photographs. The house I grew up in has much the same feel of Woodlawn. Big, old, beautiful. But always something wanting to be fixed. I'm hopeful that my kids are getting at least a sliver of the experiences we had growing up. (Though I'm seriously lacking in the canning and gigantic vegetable garden.) 

When I flip through the pages of gardens and sheep shows, and tubing trips down the stream, beautifully set Thanksgiving tables, music lessons and Volkswagen buses, I'm left with nothing less than awe for mother. 

Man, she had her hands full. Four kids. A barn full of animals. Sports practices. 4-H meetings. Burst pipes above the kitchen ceiling and escaped steers running up the road. I know it must have been stressful and overwhelming and just too much at times. But the thing that stands out is grace.

As I stand in the midst of four kids and farm animals and soccer practices and school runs and homeschool lessons plans, and laundry and messy houses and broken sinks and chores, grace is not the word that comes to mind to describe myself.

One of my mother's most commonly passed out words of wisdom is "this too shall pass." I would say those words to myself while sitting in the chair of the baby's room--rocking a crying, sick child that just wouldn't sleep. Or when someone decided to suddenly give up naps. Or adopt a less-than-enjoyable attitude.

But this year, I find myself grabbing on to that mantra once again. This new pace we're finding ourselves in kinda has me out of sorts. I like down time. Home time. And it takes work to find those moments right now. A family dinner that isn't hemmed in by soccer practice, church meetings or homework? An afternoon to blow off work and take the long way home? The moments aren't as frequent as they used to be. 

But I also know that this too shall pass. The schedule will soon slow down for the winter. We'll all adjust to the new pace. I'll learn to do a better job of recognizing those simpler, quieter moments and relish them. 

I'm not sure how my mom did it. But she managed to balance so much, so much hard stuff with such grace and calm. I love the quote below...that grace is an outpouring of what's on the inside. I'm pretty confident that's the key right there. And I'm praying for just a portion of that in my days, as well. That grace might overflow.

Thanks for listening, friends. More soon.

The makers of Children's MOTRIN are inspired by all the things moms do. Moms may not always realize it, but they are amazing in so many ways. Moms are on call day and night have have so much unique knowledge that can really help other moms. That's why the makers of Children's MOTRIN are asking moms to share this knowledge in the form of tips and tricks that help keep them going. They are asking moms to post their tips to the MOTRIN facebook page and for every post, Children's MOTRIN will donate $1 to Safe Kids Worldwide, a global nonprofit that provides moms with the tips they need to keep their children safe.

Short list after a long break

I'm sitting in my non-air-conditioned "office" and sweating-- even though I have a fan strategically placed on the desk beside me, blowing directly onto the side of my head. But I'm not complaining. Because outside in the barn are 20 tweens filming the 'death scene' from Romeo and Juliet in full costumes of varying degrees of polyester, velvet, nylon tights, cloaks and capes. I'm sitting here contemplating what would be the best refreshment for those poor kiddos, aside from dunking their heads in a bucket of ice water. I'm leaning towards lemonade if I can scrounge up enough plastic cups to go around. 

I've disappeared. Yes, this summer is bound and determined to not allow me to catch my breath. Apparently we've decided to squeeze every ounce of life out of it. And out of me.

So, to ease back in to this little blog of mine, I'm coming here today with a list. Because I love lists and that's the easiest way to catch up on a whole lotta stuff that needs catching up.

1. Shakespeare. What are those tweens doing in our barn in shakespearean dress? This is Emma's Shakespeare class that has been studying Romeo + Juliet during the school year and is now finishing up the filming of final scenes. Much of it has been filmed here at Woodlawn--which I'm told has required many takes thanks to noisy sheep and barn cats that like to jump into scenes at random moments.

2. It's almost time for the county fair! This time next week we'll be unpacking sheep, cakes, cookies, photographs, artwork, and crafts at the fairgrounds. On my to-do list today is to make a to-do list. For the fair. I'm not feeling stressed yet, so I figured making a list would help me get my rear in gear aka start to feel stressed. 

3. Emma rode her horse in an event--dressage, cross country and stadium jumping. Her second "official" event and just like last time, she got booted off her horse on the 4th jump, an automatic disqualification. Thankfully this time, there were less tears and more laughter. Maybe we'll try again in the fall.

4. Emma's going to school next year! This requires its own post, but this is HUGE news around here. A process we've been agonizing over for the past few months. But we're all so excited. My first homeschooler to leave the nest. 

5. We're down to 2 chickens. We have a fox. A fox who must stalk our chickens from the bushes. Not minutes after we let them out, he was racing through the front yard in broad daylight trying to snatch one up. We all screamed at him. The dog chased him. And the chickens are on house arrest. 

6. Willie sleeps through the night. Praise the Lord. He has also discovered the muddy hole in the woods behind the house and shows up at the porch door like this, all the time, wondering why I won't let him in.

7. The girls went to camp. Sadly, one camp home early with a migraine. We'll try again next year.

8. I've lost 20 pounds. And 18 inches. Woohoo. Still going strong on the healthy-front. A few bumps in the road from summer chaos, but feeling good!

I've missed you all. Hope summer is treating you sweetly. More soon. xo.

When your daughter writes a book for her little sister and your heart breaks a little

I think that God periodically gives you glimpses of remarkable goodness in your children as a way to let you know that as a parent, you're doing a few things right. Now that my oldest is firmly planted in the world of tweendom and well on her way to teenagerhood, I've been learning a lot about parenting and being a mother. And almost daily, I find myself standing in the middle of this swirl of four girls, their messes, my messes, our chaos, and wondering, "Am I doing a good job?" And part of you says I don't think so. And another part says maybe.

You reach the end of the day and you're tired and you just want them to all be asleep and quiet, but then you catch your two littlest snuggled in bed together heads touching, legs tangled, reading books. And you get this little pain in your heart, like a gentle touch on your back saying, "See? They're turning out to be pretty awesome kids."

You accidentally walk past an open bedroom door and see another one making her bed. And it happens again, that little jump in your chest, and you realize they do listen. They do care, every once in a while.  

You're driving in the car and they seem to have forgotten you're the one behind the wheel and you overhear the oldest taking sincere interest in what someone smaller has to say. And you try not to let them see you smile because you don't want them to notice that they're doing it again. You're getting another gentle reminder that you're getting a few things right. 

Or maybe one day, you walk into your oldest daughter's bedroom and find a palm-sized notebook wrapped in blue polka-dot duct tape on her bedside table. And when you look inside, you can barely read the print past the tears. 

For two years, she's been writing down tips for her little sister.

It's another glimpse, another breaking of your heart in the best possible way that despite the fighting (oh the fighting!) and the eye-rolling and the big huge sighs, and the slammed doors, that this kid is a good kid. Everything and everyone is gonna be okay. 

I told Emma I was going to share a few peeks into the pages, which you can see in the gallery below. She knows I can barely get through it without getting all weepy-mom on her.  

And I'm thankful and proud and even though someone just ran in the door crying because someone else soaked them with the garden hose, and probably later, I'll walk into their bedrooms and want to weep over the mess, I'm grateful and I'm encouraged. I have the best kind of happy mama pain in my heart.