October 06, 2008

a worthwhile detour

October 06, 2008/ molly balint

Who knew an impromptu trip to the pet store could work out so well for me?

This morning the girls and I were headed to the library so I could deal with some issues--my last large bag of library books, which I returned last week never showed up as "checked in" on my account. Thankfully, I know which librarian it was--the grumpy one with really strong perfume, I wrote a check to pay my fines, (Yes, I write checks sometimes to pay for our library fines. Just doing what I can to support the local library.) and I knew exactly which books I had returned.

But at some point along the drive, Emma asked if we could please go to the pet store. I get this request several times a week, and I always turn it down. But you know how sometimes, you say no so many times in a row, for no particular reason, that finally, you just have to say yes.

So I did my library business at the drive-in window and we detoured to the much longed-for pet store.

We wandered the aisles. I let the girls stand, faces plastered against all the cages and tanks. I answered questions, I said no to every request for dog treats and cat toys--I left my wallet in the car. And then finally, we left...three red-faced, weeping girls dragging along with me out to the parking lot.

You might be wondering how this could have possibly turned out well for me, but just wait. It gets better.

Elizabeth was crying because I had to peel her pudgy fingers off the cage bars of the gerbils. Emma was crying because she had already named, and grown emotionally invested with one honey-colored hamster, and dear Mary was crying because she just wanted another plecostomus.

At first, I began my mother diatribe about how "I was going to remember this next time they asked to visit the pet store." And, "you have four kittens, six chicks and five guineas to love and take care of at home.", etc. etc. None of it was doing any good. None of it was doing anything to stop the wailing in the back of the car.

But then my wheels started turning. I remembered that I was in the process of establishing a chore system with the girls and thinking about letting them begin to earn an allowance. So we spent the rest of the trip home discussing these new ideas.

I still don't have all the kinks worked out in my system yet, but all the girls heard was DO CHORES + EARN MONEY = BUY THE HAMSTER/PLECOSTOMUS MYSELF!!

The conversation in the car immediately took a turn. From Mary, "Mom I promise I will never make you angry again. Mom. I promise I will always clean up after myself, even when I don't really want to. Mom. What chores do you want me to finish when I get home? Mom. I promise you are the best mom I've ever heard of."

From Emma: "Mom, I'm going to make my bed, clean the whole downstairs, mop the kitchen floor, and clean Elizabeth's room when we get home. How much money do I need to get a hamster? I already have about sixty dollars, I think. (she has maybe, three.) I'm guessing by like next week, no the end of this week, I'll be going back to get my hamster."

We got home and they barreled out of the car. By the time Elizabeth and I got inside, they were tying aprons on each other, talking like Laura and Mary Ingalls, and heading upstairs to make their beds. I just stood back and let the magic happen. They made their beds, picked up laundry and brought it to the washing machine, picked up the bathroom floor, washed the windows in their room. Emma cleaned Elizabeth's room and laid out a diaper and PJs for naps. Mary picked up her toys in the hallway, and even carried things back downstairs to their proper place. (that never happens!)

It was like having a team of merry maids arrive in my home. It was a beautiful, beautiful thing. Brings a tear to my eye. Finally, when they began plans to clean out a closet I pulled back on the reins and brought them back into their room for a talk.

I told them how happy I was, and told them I would work on a system so that we could keep this kind of thing up, and yes, they'd be able to earn a little money in order to save up for their pets. I gave them each fifty cents for their enthusiasm and we called it a day.

I'll let you know when I figure out my system. But for now, I'm still enjoying the post-pet store high. We might just have to go back tomorrow.

October 02, 2008

a little bit of everything

October 02, 2008/ molly balint

Can we all hold hands, bow our heads and have a moment of silence together....because I feel the need to commemorate this day. All the laundry in the mommycoddle household is DONE. And folded. And put away. It took much labor, much discovery of things that had been missing since, oh, summer, and the deed is done. One step closer to organization, my friends

And now that all the clothes are clean, I've come to realize that my two oldest children have serious dresser issues. Their "hand-me-down, get by for now" dressers have four small drawers and a cupboard with doors down below. The stuff down below is a massive wad of turtlenecks, bathing suits, wool sweaters and tank tops. Seriously, when I clean their room, I take my foot, shove all the stuff back in the bottom cupboard, slam the door and walk away. So today, we took a trip to IKEA and bought some nice, cheap cloth baskets and got those little dressers all neat and organized. Then Emma had the genius idea to make little pictures on the outside of each drawer/door so they would know what to put inside. The taped-on method is a little wonky, but otherwise I love it. I did Mary's sketches, Emma did her own.

Emily, I was going to call you on the way to IKEA but I knew you'd just finished entertaining/holiday, so I wanted you to relax and not feel the need to rush out and meet us. But we're on for next week.

I met with my new book group last night. (They really wanted to "make" the blog today. Hi girls.) We spent about five minutes talking about the book and rest of the time telling funny stories and laughing so hard, I left with sore abs and achy face muscles.

I just wrote a new post on baby center about getting a chore system in place for the girls. One woman can't be expected to do it all. And I think the magnetic refrigerator grid pad that Joan, from BusyBody Book sent me is going to be just the thing for this. Thank you, Joan.

The guineas have had their own little Independence Day. They are now free to move about the cabin...or yard. And word to the wise, don't forget you left the guineas out after dark. We left them out in the dark for maybe thirty minutes. Bye-bye one poor little guinea. Emma reminds me, "Mom. Life on the farm can be tough." And Mary keeps telling me, "When the guinea's ready, he'll come back." She goes out to the back yard every day and calls to him.

Meanwhile, our six hens have become five hens plus one rooster.

Mary and Elizabeth have runny noses. Could cold season already be here? What do you do to protect your children from the flu during this season?

The girls have been wanting pancakes for breakfast for the last few days. And because I'm not at my culinary peak come morning, I decided to make the pancakes this afternoon. We made a few with cinnamon and chocolate chips "for special", and some plains for Dan, bagged them and tossed them in the fridge for tomorrow morning. Hello? Why haven't I been doing this before??

Thanks for banging through the random thoughts with me.
Happy Thursday, friends.

September 30, 2008

BirdJam

September 30, 2008/ molly balint

It's pretty safe to say we're a bit bird crazy in this household. Nothing warms my heart more than hearing my daughter cry out from the backyard, "Mom! Quick! Put the guineas in their pen. I hear a Red-Shouldered Hawk!!!"

There is always a pair of binoculars on the cupboard in the mudroom--whether they are Dan's nice ones or Mary's purple plastic ones. And they often get swooped up and carried outside in a flurry of excitement over something calling in the trees. Almost nightly, my setting of the dinner table requires that I first push aside field guides that have been pilfered during breakfast and lunch.

Once your ears begin to recognize bird sounds, it really is amazing how much more you hear and notice when you are out doors. The birds that wake you in the morning are no longer a cacophony of calls, but become Song Sparrows, House Finches and Nuthatches. It's like walking through life with cotton balls in your ears, and someone finally taking them out and revealing a whole world you only previously heard in muffled, muted tones.

And honestly, there's nothing better than seeing this awareness and consciousness of natural surroundings being passed on to my children. I love that their ears are alert, and their eyes are soft, looking for movement and color in the treetops.

Dan and I have gone through a lot of tapes and CDs of birdsong and calls, doing our best to learn as many birds as we can that are native to our area. And it isn't easy. You learn birds only by sound, but can't remember what they look like. Or you know their picture in a field guide, but can't remember what their call sounds like when you're in the field.

So when I heard about BirdJam on a birding podcast, I knew I had to try it. BirdJam is a program of "song files" that can be loaded onto your computer or better yet, your iPod, to learn your bird songs. Each song file brings up a photo of the bird, their name and their genus species. (if you're feeling really ambitious). It is the perfect combination, being able to listen to a song and call, while having the visual photograph in front of you as well.

And guess who's been stealing my ipod to listen to the "bird song CD"? My girls sit with the computer or my ipod and work their way through the songs, calling out the birds they recognize either by song or photo and they are able to put all their knowledge together.

Bird Jam comes in an adult version, too but we have the version for young birders. It is a companion to Bill Thompson's (editor of Bird Watcher's Digest) amazing Young Birder's Guide. (which he wrote with the help of his elementary-aged daughter Pheobe, and he says it is one of his proudest accomplishments of all his bird content writing. ) We have a lot of kid-friendly field guides, but this one is definitely the best. All the information for each bird is on one page and the photographs and facts about each bird are really interesting. I've learned something new about each bird I've looked up in the guide.

I get the chance to share a lot of good finds with you here on my blog, but I have to say, this goes down as one of my favorites. I hope I just made your holiday shopping a little bit easier because I know you bird loving friends will really enjoy this find. And sharing a love and appreciation for the natural world with children, is something I feel passionately about.

happy bird watching, listening and learning....

September 12, 2008

a morning routine

September 12, 2008/ molly balint

It used to be that I would have a "make up" day when it came to house cleaning and laundry--a day when my sole purpose in life would be to make a dent in (notice I didn't say finish) the laundry, get everything put away properly, things wiped down and mopped, and prettied up. I was making up for all the previous days when I ignored the spaces and piles around me.

But I'm realizing lately that my time is not completely my own. I can't put things off for tomorrow or let things go so easily as I used to. It's taking more of a daily effort, little spurts of cleaning and puttering when I can find them. I'm trying to streamline, especially my time in the mornings. There are things that need to be done: the chickens and guineas fed, children fed, a run of the dishwasher, a load of laundry, a quick tidy, things watered and picked, before I thrust myself into the meat of my day.

I read a post on Simple Mom about your morning five. Making a list of the five things you need to accomplish each morning. (At least I think I read it on Simple Mom. Am I making this up? Nope found it here.) The recommendation is to have five things you do the same every morning. Your routine. I love this idea and I need to really put what's swirling around in my head into a tidy list on a piece of paper.

I love routine and crave it more in my life. Living on the farm with my grandmother the past two and a half years has made me realize how much wisdom and peaceful simplicity there is in routine.

Of course, all work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy. Or me a frazzled, weak, tear-stained pile of stress on the floor.

Enter my sweet little bag of knitting. Knitting is bringing me more comfort and peace these days than it has in a long time. Not only does it calm me, I find it also calms my children. When I sit myself down in a comfy chair in the living room to work and be still, my children seem to always wander in to the same room and find a place to play. They pick up a book and climb under blankets and pillows on the sofa, they lay on their bellies and disappear into a land of make-believe with their toys.

As much as it is important for them to see me as industrious and organized, caring for our home. It is important for them to see me still and quiet and creative. It's an equally important memory and "skill" to pass on to my children.

How are you finding stillness and quiet these days? Are you knitting something? Sewing? Reading? I'd love to hear how you find your peace each day...

Postscript:
And just another word about SimpleMom....if you're not subscribing to it, you're missing out. Every blog post that shows up in my inbox is something I find practical and helpful to my every day. Be sure to take a moment to visit.

And another (shameless) thing...if you happen to click out of your feedreader and actually visit my blog today, there's a little button over there on the left-hand sidebar to vote for my blog. It was nominated for "best parenting blog" in this year's Blogger's Choice Awards. And I have only one vote. And I'm pretty sure it's from my sister. Vote here.

September 04, 2008

The things I'd be blogging about if I could find three quiet minutes in a row

September 04, 2008/ molly balint

Preface: This post has absolutely no inspirational value. Unless of course you find inspiration in stories about chicken hawks, homeschooling pity-parties, and bits about my laundry. Sorry.

++The chicks have taken over the downstairs bathroom and the guineas are outside in a movable wire pen that sits on a grassy spot in the yard. Yesterday I heard them making a huge racket and since I was upstairs with a naked baby, I sent Emma outside to see what was happening until I could get out there. There on the ground beside the pen was a large Red-Tailed Hawk harassing the guineas and causing them to run laps around the inside of their pen in sheer terror. The hawk was absolutely resolute about the whole ordeal. Emma walked right up to him, with just the pen between them. He didn't fly until she really started flapping around and saying "very mean things to him".

I came out moments later after watching it all from the window, to see that he had simply flown to a small tree beside the pen, no doubt waiting for this annoyance of humans to disappear. So, being the quick-thinker that I am, I pulled the big oilcloth tablecloth off my picnic table(the beautiful one from Beth) and began flapping and slapping it around at him until he moved on....to a taller tree just over the guinea's cage. He hasn't been back, but I feel like I may be sending my poor guineas to their death the day they are allowed to roam free in the yard.

++Homeschooling Day 2 was "throw in the towel, put 'em on the bus to school" hard. The first day was marked by Emma saying, "Next year I'm going to real school" every five minutes until she finally asked if she was hurting my feelings. Day 2 was marked by grumpiness, bickering siblings, things being spilled, nothing being accomplished, slamming doors, tears (mine, theirs), naps for everyone, and babies falling off tables.

I suppose every year has its challenges--last year it was lack of space. This year it is Elizabeth. She is the most curious (that's me putting a rosy glow on it) of all my children, a climber, a get-into-everything child. Emma and I sit at a long bench at the dining room table and I spend the whole time removing her from top of the table, and putting her down on the floor. Elizabeth, no. Elizabeth, no. Elizabeth, no.

She brings us tiny counting chips in her mouth and spits them out in our hands. She bites the tops off of Emma's new crayons and brings us the leftover nub. She gives me "quiet" by going into the kitchen, sliding the chair over to the table, climbing up on the table and digging her chubby fists into the boxes of cereal, turning them upside down to get out more and "drinking" the glasses of orange juice left there by mistake. Drinking involves 25% of the juice down her front, 75% of the juice on my kitchen floor--which I now know has a nice little sweet spot smack in the middle where all the juice pools.

++I've had the same load of laundry on the clothes line for three days. This will be day 4 if it doesn't come down by midnight. Upon typing this, it occurred to me that the clothes pins and clothes will by now be taken over by a large population of spiders who find my clothes line the perfect foundation for web-building. The last time this happened the large red striped spider that I brushed (more like a spastic swat) off the clothesline showed up five minutes later on my right shoulder. I almost de-shirted in the yard, I was so freaked out that I didn't get him off. Great.

++This one's good. Emily and I met for dinner Tuesday night outside Baltimore. We live so close to each other, I love it. You know how when you meet great people blogging and you say to yourself, "Why can't this person live near me? I know we'd be fast friends?" I'm lucky enough to say that I've met a kindred spirit in Emily. Before we knew it, we'd been sitting there so long we both were desperate for the bathroom and realized it was after ten o'clock. To which we left the restaurant and then spent even more time lingering in the parking lot. Next date? Dansko outlet and dinner at Thomas Run--children and husbands allowed.

++This one is also good. Lisa Leonard sent me two beautiful treasures in the mail recently. I was going to share them today, but I don't want to throw their beauty in with all this whining. But let me just preview it all by saying that I love it, I love it, I love it. And the other thing she sent is now going to be my standard issue baby gift--a simple, classic. Stay tuned.

I leave you (if you're still here) with some words of wisdom from my husband, who reminded me last night that things worth doing are usually worth quitting, too. I'm not throwing in the homeschooling towel yet. I liken it to my newborn analogy--those days after the blissful first days are sometimes crazy, you feel like you're losing your mind, how did I get myself into this, when will I ever find a moment's peace, etc. etc. And then the next thing you know, you've found your groove again, your rhythm, and you wonder how you'd ever live your life other than the way it is right now. You can't imagine it any other way. I'm looking forward to that time. I'm hoping it comes soon.

Thank you for listening, or rolling your eyes, or yawning and rubbing your eyes, but making it to this point.

I guess I found my three minutes.

++++++++++
Momformation posts here & here, & here, & here

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