focus on the positive

Tonight I was sitting at the kitchen table with the windows open and I overheard Dan outside talking to the girls. He was asking who had left certain things out from yesterday, why there was a set of my cups in the backyard, had someone watered the boxwoods, etc. etc. While he talked to the girls I winced, knowing that these were things I hadn't gotten to today. But I also thought, "Did you notice that I sorted through FOUR tubs of baby clothes in the guest room, got three loads of laundry done, and all the books returned to the library?"

I share this little snippet of our life not at all to imply that my husband is some grumpy, ungrateful man that comes home grumbling and complaining about all the things that didn't get accomplished that day. Because that is so far from reality. And even in this overheard moment he was more asking questions versus laying blame.

I share this story because I realized as I was overhearing Dan that he sounded a lot like me.

All too often, I walk into a situation, whether it be with Dan or with the girls, and completely miss the important stuff. I find all my focus and attention and words drawn to the negatives--the mess I'll be cleaning later, instead of the amazing creative play that is going on in their room, stripped of all bed sheets, pillows and blankets. The chaos of loud laughing and running through the house, instead of the joy of my children having fun together. The annoyance of my oldest daughter wanting to help with her baby sister's bath instead of seeing how much she loves taking care of Elizabeth.

I often do it when I return to the house after a solo outing and Dan stays with the girls. "Couldn't you have at least cleared the dishes from the kitchen table?!" Instead of noticing that he has all three girls sitting on his lap on the sofa reading picture books.

Really what is most important? A good reminder for me tonight.

The picture is a quick shot of our bedroom corner with the new headboard finally painted and in place. Can I tell you how much I love having a headboard? And how much I love seeing the handiwork of my husband all over the house? The bedside table, also his work--made for me as a birthday gift several years ago. The date and year are written on the inside of the drawer.