New beginnings and a fresh Advent season

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The Advent season began this past Sunday.

In year's past, I've rushed home from Thanksgiving travel and realized it was suddenly time to start thinking about Christmas and felt the immediate panic of already being behind. But this year feels remarkably different. The biggest marker in our lives being that Dan and I are going through RCIA classes, as we begin the process of joining the Catholic church. It's a big decision for our family. A personal one. But also one that feels like I'm coming into a fullness of my faith that I haven't experienced before.

It's exciting. And fulfilling. And whole.

And part of that process and learning has been for me to put thought into the Advent season, how we celebrate it and how we anticipate the coming of Christmas. I've often felt like I've walked into Christmas Eve church services trying to frantically re-focus myself and my children on what really matters in the season. 

But this year feels different.

We're already starting the anticipation of what's to come. Like the birth of a new baby, we are preparing. We are waiting. We are getting excited.

Though there is so much I could add to my list of Advent traditions, I've decided that the best thing for me is to add one or two small things each year. 

This year, it is the lighting of the Advent wreath and meditations and reading over coffee and dessert every night after dinner. The girls take turns reading, and we sit together. And things slow down. And we light the candles. And we remember to anticipate what's coming.

As I chose the things I wanted to add to our traditions this year, I hoped to add this Advent spiral to our celebrating, but missed my chance to order. Instead, I found a way to make the Nova Natural birthday rings work as we count down each day until Christmas. (I'll share more ideas and specifics soon.) And an Advent wreath we made in class that I added holly and boxwood to when I came home.

Christmas books have been gathered together, only to be scattered again around the house. Birdy picks this one night after night at bedtime. 

With all that's swirling around me, I'm so glad to have this season and these moments in our day to be a little more mindful of what's ahead and what's important.

The waiting.

The joy.

It's just what this heart needs.

13 things I'm doing to get out of a diet + exercise funk

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People, it's been a long winter. In the midst of the grey, dull, cold, snowy skies that just wouldn't quit, a ridiculously long bout of sickness, and general winter funk, I feel like I've lost my exercise and healthy eating mojo. I wrote about it very briefly on here, but early this winter I took the big personal step of hiring a trainer to help me with my goals of losing weight and getting more fit. 

It's been one of the best things I've done for myself. Ever. 

But even though my trainer is amazing and those two days with her are a highlight of my week, there's still all those other hours of the week where I'm on my own. 

For me, good decisions beget good decisions. So when we were missing sessions because of weather and illness and whatever else was getting in the way, I found the interruption of our schedule becoming an excuse to slack off. And eventually the slacking off sucked up all the enthusiasm that I'd had before. 

A few weeks ago, my trainer and I had a 'come to Jesus' talk. Yes, I may have cried standing in the middle of the club. But in my defense, she had too. I was sick of the funk and ready to get back on track again. I was feeling frustrated. Beat down. And pretty discouraged.

We talked through a few ideas but that night I came home and made a list in my moleskine (this is how I use my moleskine for journaling) of the things that I do that help me pull out of a funk. I've been sticking to this list pretty religiously that past few weeks and it's really helping me feel back on track and moving in the right direction. 

I thought I'd share my list with you because I think it's helpful to see how other people do things and most likely, I'm going to need to refer to this post over and over again when the hard days come. And because many of you have told me that you want to hear more about what I'm doing with my healthy goals. When I started down this path my dad said to me something along the lines of "say it out loud." And I think there's something to be said for letting people know what you're going through, how you're doing and having that accountability for change. 

13 WAYS I'M GETTING BACK ON TRACK WITH DIET AND EXERCISE

  • Finishing the day well. Doing all the dinner dishes, tidying up the counters, taking a bath, figuring out where my exercise clothes are...all these little details help me both go to sleep and wake up the next morning feel organized and in control of the day ahead. Chaos and disorganization are two of my favorite excuses to fall off the wagon.

  • Living in workout clothes. Sometimes I don't feel like that walk or time on the rowing machine, or trip to the gym because the thought of finding my workout clothes, putting them on and going out the door makes me tired. I figure if I'm already dressed, it makes finding time to exercise that much easier. And bonus, putting on jeans and a tee suddenly feels so "put together."

  • Becoming BFFs with my water bottle. I have this nifty one that was a kickstarter project of a friend of mine. I love it, which is good because I take it everywhere. 

  • Reading things that inspire me. I'm taking time in the evenings, or while I'm making dinner to read books that motivate and inspire me to keep on keeping on. Currently: Foodist, Eating Well mag, Tosca Reno (in moderation--she's pretty intense, but the principles are good), The Perfect Recipe, Cooking Light. And this article with similar (and excellent) ideas.

  • Making lists (my List of 3), and writing down what I eat--a very enlightening experience.

  • Cleaning out my fridge. I love my fridge. It's huge. And when it's clean and organized it's so motivating to me. Before (almost) every grocery shop, I wipe down shelves, deal with anything moldy and combine the 15 bags of shredded cheese that have been opened and partially used.

  • Freezing fruits and vegetables before they go off so they're ready for smoothies. This was a lightbulb moment I had with a friend a few weeks ago when she told me that before her languishing kale, spinach or berries go bad in the fridge, she tosses them in ziploc baggies and freezes them for smoothies. I cannot tell you how many bags of stinky kale that never got finished have been tossed to the chickens. Freezing them? It changed my world.

  • Charging up my favorite fitness gadgets and getting all appy. I've had a JawboneUP band for awhile and after trying several different kinds, it is my current favorite. I love the app, love the data, but got out of the habit of wearing it. So I charged everything, updated my app and have been wearing it again. I'm also using My Fitness Pal for some food journaling and syncing it with the UP band app and getting a good idea of how I'm moving, sleeping, sitting, etc. (In fact, it just buzzed to tell me I've been sitting too long.)

  • Praying for my kids. So I know this doesn't sound like it belongs in my list but let me explain. I have found that I am becoming a bit of a worrier. During Lent, I decided that instead of giving something up, I was going to spend solid time praying for my children. (This book [ugly cover warning] has been the perfect framework for me.) Obviously, worry is no good. And these quiet moments put me in such a healthier frame of mind. It has been a really powerful part of my day.

  • Making my bed every morning. Okay, I know most people do this already, but there are many (MANY) mornings when I slip out of the blankets and leave behind a child or two still snoozing in the sheets. We often get middle of the night and early morning visitors so the bed often goes unmade. Now, when I wake up, I dump the kids onto the floor so I can make the bed. Kidding. I don't. But I do make a point to go back and make it. Makes everything feel a little more buttoned up.

  • Sharing the load. Speaking of kids, I've broken out the old chore chart again. I've realized that if I reach the end of the day and feel like my kids' time hasn't been productive that day, it puts me in a bad mood. Really, what's probably happening is that I'm taking my guilt out on my kids--that's another conversation. But organization, a good plan, and helping out the family is good for EVERYONE. Right now, as I type, there's a small person setting the dinner table. It's one of her chores. And sharing the load makes me happy. And that makes everyone happy, right?

  • Taking a new approach. Besides trying to do some intentional things to keep me on track, I'm also beginning spring with a new approach. I'm going to be focusing a lot harder and more intensely on nutrition and swapping out some of my training sessions to focus on this. I'm feeling really good about this new direction.

  • Talking about it. I swear, I won't be so wordy in the future, but I think it's going to be really good for me to keep talking about how I'm doing, what I'm working on and where things are going. So prepare for more. 

So obviously, I'm not doing all these things, every single day. I mean, let's be realistic. But I'm trying my darnedest to stay on top of these little things that have a big pay off for me. If you see me out in my jeans, not carrying my water bottle, you may want to ask me if my bed is made. (No, people who see me in real life. Please don't. I'm already wincing at the thought of publishing this, and the people who will read it.) But for now, finding the things that help this absolutely chock-full life feel slightly balanced and in control are just what this journey needs. 

Thanks for listening to my lengthy list of to-do's. More soon...xo.

The long way home

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There's a road the girls and I travel pretty often around here. We call it "taking the long way home".

In the humid, unbearable days of summer, I've been known to pack the girls in the car for a chance to sit in the cool of the air conditioning for a few minutes. Cooling our bodies, renewing my sanity, we'd take the long way home. 

In the fall, we'd take the long way home--an excuse to escape through the woods and note the changes in the colors of the trees. After a storm, we'd take the long way home--to see how high the stream got. 

The road is mostly unpaved, winds along the creek and is tented in trees. It passes by the farm where Emma rides each week. And takes a sharp turn at the edge of a hill that I've heard my grandfather refer to as the best view in the county. 

After so many trips down this road, the girls and I have each sort of chosen a house along the way that's our favorite. Elizabeth loves one that "needs some work." Because she likes to work. Emma's picked one with plenty of room for horses. And secretly, I have this little favorite one, too. 

the long way home

A white house with green shutters that sits way back off the road. You can't see much of it from the road, but I've always felt like it looks like something set in a dfferent time, a different place. It's been my favorite all along. 

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At the beginning of this summer that house became empty. The husband and wife that lived there for years, passed away. The rest of the family was ready to let it go. And through connections and family and God's good grace, that little house, that favorite of mine, found it's way into our little family. 

The process has been a long one. Since the beginning of summer we've been talking and waiting, planning, then waiting. There were long conversations leaning against fence posts. And in parking lots of the convenience store at the corner. Things to arrange. Ideas to throw around. Hurdles to overcome. And lots and lots of waiting.

the long way home

And then that same week that we were dealing with the stress and sorrow of the rabies incident, it all fell through. We had to walk away. And honestly, I was pretty devastated. It had been such a long road. I thought we were so close. And then everything fell apart. But I had to trust that there must be something else. And that this was the right thing to do. 

But something about the walking away turned everything around. And within weeks there were a few more conversations and a handshake and here we are...we're leaving Thomas Run and moving a stone's throw away, to that house I've always loved.

the long way home

The local history books tell us it's name is Woodlawn. It smells like my grandmother's house and reminds me of the home I grew up in. In its day it was immaculate. Turns out my grandfather played tennis on the courts there (now buried under grass) with Monroe, whose silver tennis trophies covered almost every bookcase in the house. And family friends used to go there to play bridge. And Emma went there with our neighbor once to collect a load of hay. Today, Woodlawn needs some love and attention. But her bones are beautiful.

the long way home

I've been waiting a long time to share this news. I suppose after such a long, emotional journey to get to this place it's still hard to let myself believe this is really happening. But with paint colors picked and a gutted kitchen and boxes being packed, it seems as though it's really happening. And my heart, that I've been holding close despite it's thumping in my chest with excitement, can finally be let go.

We've found the long way home, indeed. 

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I declare

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I've declared this week to be the week of good things. Things that are uplifting and happy. Behind the scenes, we're hanging in there. The outpouring of encouragement from all of you has been amazing. Even yesterday, when I posted this little shot on Instagram of all of us, while hanging out in the ER waiting for our next dose of the vaccine, it was flooded with good thoughts and wishes, and "I wish I could come out there and buy you all a milkshake!" But the good news in all this is one more round to go! And to quote Elizabeth, "Then I can finally get back to a normal life!"

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In the meantime, a few good things around the webby-web-web:

Probably the only time in my life that my name will appear in the same article with Brooke Shields, Gwyneth Paltrow, Tom Cruise and Alanis Morrissette....and proof that among mothers, some things know no bounds of language, race, location or income. We all need to ask for help when we need it.

Something about this post hit me in a good spot this week.

This place is always light, fresh, inspiring (and good for my french).

I'm pretty sure warm bread makes everything better, right? This week, probably this one.

I think my girls have earned some of these to stitch on their sleeves.

And tomorrow, another good thing to share with you that gets me all itchy to have the girls back home...

xo, friends. and thank you.

molly

 

 

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hello, girls

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There's an old VHS video clip I have of my grandmother, walking out to her sheep in the pasture, "Hello, girls." she calls to them in that voice I miss hearing. Immediately, they respond--a mix of warbled baa's from lambs who have their lips pressed to the earth ripping out clumps of grass and others strong and clear who already noticed her coming. Deep throaty baa's of mama ewes who know her voice so well.

hello, girls

My first lamb, when I was eight years old, came from my Grandmother's flock of Hampshires, Dorsets and Southdowns. I remember well, picking out Buttons that day. I picked him not because he was going to win blue ribbons in my first county fair, but because he came up to me and started nibbling and tugging at the hem of my sweater. He had been one of her bottle-fed projects. Now he would ride home with me purely for the fact that we'd become immediate friends. Standing in that barn while sheep and lambs swirled around us and a border collie crouched anxiously outside the gate.

hello, girls

For the next ten years I would show lambs in 4-H and state fairs. We'd win some years. Other years we'd learn lessons the hard way--like never tie your lambs to Japanese Ewe bushes while they wait in line to be sheared. All will be lost.

When I would graduate and go off to college, my mother would still keep a few lambs on the farm. She loved them as much as we did. She was the sheep lady whenever she'd speak at churches, garden clubs, and women's groups.

But eventually, the farm would be sold. I'd get married. And have children of my own.

But somewhere in the back of my mind, maybe the back of my heart, I'd dream and hope for the day, when things would fall in to place again. When the time would come again, when my children would get their first lambs.

Once we moved to Thomas Run, I'd try to figure out ways to make it work. Ways to afford the fencing we didn't have anywhere. The buildings we'd need, that didn't seem to exist.

Then a pony would come in to the picture and horse fence would go up. Fence that wouldn't work for lambs. And I thought maybe we'll end up being horse people. Maybe lambs won't be their thing. The pony was definitely meant to be.

My husband, who likes to remind me of how I should just trust him on this, has always said that I need to just sit back and wait. That the right things, at the right time, will fall into our laps. The doors will open when we're ready. When the time is right. We needent force anything.

hello, girls

So I sat back. And waited. Sometimes I let it go. Other times a sight or sound or memory would make me want to work and work to make lambs happen again.

But then, in a matter of weeks, the door would open. Out of nowhere. I'd look at a building on our farm in a completely different way and suddenly see potential. I'd get drawn into a conversation at a 4-H meeting that would get me thinking. I'd make one mention of it out loud, that I almost didn't say, because it just seemed too impossible to admit. 

Then, there'd be an email. 

And here we are a few months later. 

hello, girls

I waited. Not always patiently, I admit. But now it's here. It's happening. And it couldn't have arrived in any better of a package. At any more perfect of a moment. 

I am in love. We all are.

Hello, girls. Hello.

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